Death
to
plastic.
We’re on a mission to make people laugh and get more of them to drink more healthy beverages more often — all while helping murder single-use plastic. This is the whole plan. There is no fine print. (Okay, there’s a little fine print.)
Here’s the dumb, simple truth: it’s just water.
Water is the most boring, most important product on earth. Everyone needs it. Almost no one is excited about it. Meanwhile, the stuff that’s bad for you gets the funniest ads, the loudest cans, the best jokes. We decided to steal all of that energy and point it at something that’s actually good for you and the planet.
So we put real mountain water in an infinitely recyclable tallboy, gave it a name that sounds like a death-metal band, and started making the kind of marketing no beverage company is supposed to make. Turns out, when you make people laugh, they’ll happily ditch the plastic bottle for a can. Funny, it works.
Four tenets. Zero chill.
- 01
Plastic is the real villain
Single-use plastic bottles are a horror movie that never ends. Aluminum is infinitely recyclable — it can come back as a new can over and over, forever, like a monster that’s actually good for you.
- 02
Healthy should be fun
Junk food gets all the funny, loud, unforgettable marketing. Water gets a photo of a mountain and a calm font. We think that’s backwards. So we market water like the world’s most dangerous energy drink.
- 03
Give a damn, loudly
We put our money where our mouth is: a slice of profits goes to killing plastic pollution and funding the people fighting it. Doing good doesn’t have to be quiet or boring.
- 04
Never sell out the joke
The day this stops being funny is the day it stops working. Every can, every campaign, every stupid glorious stunt exists to make you laugh hard enough to drink more water.
“We chose the dumbest possible name for water. Then we made it the most fun.”
Sell us your soul.
It’s a loyalty program, technically. You hand over your email; we hand over first access to limited drops, dumb exclusives, and merch nobody else can get. Hundreds of thousands of souls already collected. Yours is next.